Sendiri Toksik: Part 1

 Dengan nama ALLAH Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani

Tuan hamba,

Another reason to live!

Alhamdulillah. 

Let this blog be my diary, my jurnal of life. Told my 'Misteri' yesterday, I challenge myself to write for 40 days in a row and we giggled on how this could my tanda-tanda of leaving. 40 hari kan, buang tebiat org kata. Aduh masih panjang perjalanan, masih tak cukup bekal, semoga ALLAH panjangkan usia. I told my Misteri kalo ibu dijemput Illahi, mungkin tulisan-tulisan ini pesanan-pesanan terakhir ibu untuk depa. 

So as pesanan untuk anak-anak and ibu sendiri, suatu benda yang tak dapat dielakkan ialah toxic people around us. I used to be toxic for myself. Macam mana? When I think too much before doing things. Kenapa hamba lama tak update blog ni, sebab hamba fikir sat lagi klo org baca kata apa pulak. Sama la dengan FB. I stopped post things kat FB masa ada kawan komen dekat gambar situasi kat ofis i, "sedap ore ado bilik pejabat". I was like triggered dan malu untuk share my moments. I tak mahula dikatakan menunjuk, jauh lagi melukai org yang kurang bernasib baik.

Itulah yang dikatakan terlalu berfikir apa orang nak kata. Sometimes bagus jugak, But u started loosing your circle of friends, bila tak aktif di media sosial, you are so afraid to even open your FB homepage, just because you will see your friends news, you get afraid to leave any comments because they might ask you back, and you just didnt' want to think on how to answer, that would please anyone in the world, who can possibly read those! Sejauh itu hamba fikir. Dan sejauh itu la hamba makin jauh. 

Speaking of which, I miss them so much. Dari zaman sekolah rendah, menengah, matriks, uni, abroad, balik lagi pd colleagues, I miss them so much. 

To be continued...